HILLMAN WEB TRIVIA ZINE
Volume 11
A Fun Site created by
Professor William Hillman culled from a daily motivational series
compiled for his BU Education Classes 2000-2009
The daily tech news items have been omitted since many of the stories are now "old news."
 

An eclectic collection of oddities, humorous anecdotes, weird photos, funny headlines, cartoons, puzzles, inspirational items, jokes, and more. . .  gathered here as a reference repository for speakers, lecturers, teachers, students, writers, or Web travellers just looking for diversion and a bit of levity. 
.
WORLD CLOCK

(KEITH) URBAN LEGEND WATCH
Turn on your Baloney Detectors
This e-mail arrived this morning and apparently is being sent all over Canada:

"Subject: Keith Urban - This is horrible!
Keith Urban is off my play list - WHAT AN ASS !!!
This big shot western singer asked all Canadians to stand up at the Minot Fair ,after everyone stood up, he asked them all to leave the stands before he would sing because they were not helping out  fighting with  USA troops. Pass this around and see how his record sales do in Canada. Also Garth Brooks donated 1 million to keep Canadian cattle out of  USA.

I guess this just confirms that Americans are ignorant to any other human in the world other than themselves. Just this weekend 8 Canadian Solders died and I believe it was  because of yet another American mistake."


Check it out at the Snopes Uban Legend site
www.snopes.com
at:
http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/ordered.asp
"Origins:   The legend about the hate-filled musician who orders members of particular groups to leave his concerts has, over the years, been attached to a number of performers, including Clint Black, Phil Collins, John Denver, Gloria Estefan, Don Ho, and Keith Urban.

In September 2006, the Internet contributed a new version of this legend in which Keith Urban demanded that all Canadians leave his concert because he was angered by Canada's refusal to help the U.S. win its war in Iraq. The telling widely circulated in e-mail placed the incident "at the Minot Fair," a tidbit of information that provided just enough of a starting point from which to get at the truth.

On 21 July 2006, Keith Urban performed in Minot, North Dakota, to a crowd of 12,069 at the North Dakota State Fair. No mention surfaced in the news arising from that nine-day extravaganza of the singer's having ordered concertgoers (Canadian or otherwise) to vacate the stands. Given that coverage of the fair included such in-depth coverage as Charlene Bangen's pork dish missing first place by two noodles (which the judges determined too dark in color to merit the nod), a big-time country star's giving the boot to some of his paying public would surely have been reported upon had such an event actually occurred.

Also of note in putting the rumor to rest is the singer's performance a week earlier in Sarnia, Ontario. On 13 July 2006, Keith Urban kicked off that city's Bayfest series of concerts. It was his first such outing since marrying Nicole Kidman on 25 June.

As for the tacked-on rumor that Garth Brooks donated $1 million to keep Canadian cattle out of the U.S., we've yet to locate anything that supports the claim."



RECOMMENDED FEATURES IN MACLEAN'S MAGAZINE:
Maclean's Magazine Photo Galleries
 

What's so great? Lots!
News Observer & The Edge.org
'What are you optimistic about?" editor John Brockman asked some of the world's leading scientists on his Web site, www.edge.org. By almost any measure -- greater wealth, better health, diminishing levels of violence -- the world is good and getting better.

During the 20th century, life spans for the average American rose from 44 years to 77 as we tamed age-old scourges such as smallpox, malaria, polio and plague.

Imagine your life without light bulbs, air conditioning, automobiles, airplanes and 17 types of lettuce at the Harris Teeter. Such was the fate of our great-great-grandparents, whose days may be summed up with the observation that life was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." But not ours.

In contrast to conditions at the start of the 20th century, now, most everyone "lives about the same way . . . have about the same education, drive on the same roads, visit the same hospitals, and, for good or ill, share the same cultural experiences, namely television and the movies." We are no longer divided between the haves and have-nots but the haves and have-mores.

The poverty rate in Asia has declined 50 percent during the last 10 years and may decline an additional 90 percent during the next decade. . . . and the facts are that the rate of population increase is dropping, and that the drop is correlated with increases in personal economic well-being.

As the world becomes richer, it is also becoming more just . . .  the recent expansion of rights for women, homosexuals, blacks and other minorities is without precedent.  The spread of compassion is a worldwide phenomenon. "Cruelty as popular entertainment, human sacrifice to indulge superstition, slavery as a labor-saving device, genocide for convenience, torture and mutilation as routine forms of punishment, execution for trivial crimes and misdemeanors, assassination as a means of political succession, pogroms as an outlet for frustration, and homicide as the major means of conflict resolution -- all were unexceptionable features of life for most of human history. Yet today they are statistically rare in the West, less common elsewhere than they used to be, and widely condemned when they do occur."

Conventional wisdom holds that the 20th century was the bloodiest epic in human history. But anthropologists note that while about 1 percent of men died through violence in the 20th century, about 20 percent did so in hunter-gatherer societies. . . .  last year that the number of armed conflicts in the world fell 40 percent over the last decade.

What are you pessimistic about? Reasons: First up, evolutionary hangover. Life was so hard and dangerous for so long that we've been conditioned to see it as "nasty and brutish." It has improved so much, so quickly, that our minds haven't yet processed the new reality. In addition, fear is more useful than security. Identifying threats can protect us from the ill winds that still blow. . . . bad news sells.

Celebrating progress, by contrast, can lead to complacency. If we pat ourselves on the back because our society is far more just than it was a generation ago, we may feel our work is done. The challenge ahead is to strike a balance between the reasons we have for optimism and the palpable benefits we derive from our pessimism. More>>>


Interesting Site:
Turning the Pages at the British Library:

Original Alice work in 3D online
BBC News
The original manuscript of what became Alice in Wonderland has been put online by the British Library using software to virtually turn the pages. Alice's Adventures Under Ground, by Lewis Carroll, is the latest 3D addition to the Library's Turning the Pages collection of books. Using Flash technology, the manuscript can be virtually "handled", while audio is played simultaneously. Fourteen rare books and manuscripts are now in the Turning Pages collection.

Alice joins the Diamond Sutra, Jane Austen's History of England, the Leonardo Notebook, the Lindisfarne Gospels and the Mercator Atlas of Europe among others. The Lindisfarne Gospels were the first of the British Library delicate and rare manuscripts to go digital in 1998. Since then, the page-turning technology to make the books more "real" online has been refined. The technology gives the public a chance to almost touch works which would otherwise be untouchable inside glass cabinets. Actress Miriam Margolyes has provided the optional voiceover to go with the virtual Alice manuscript.

Close ups
The pages of the book can be browsed by the click of a mouse or by scrolling through each page individually.
The program also means readers can enlarge text as well as see the original illustrations in the manuscript. In the original Alice manuscript, Carroll included the first sketch of Alice Liddell who provided the inspiration for Alice in his books. It was drawn in pencil from a photo of Alice aged seven but he was not satisfied with the sketch so replaced it with a photo of Alice instead.  In 1977, the pencil drawing was rediscovered hidden under the photo. The virtual 90-page virtual manuscript contains all 37 original illustrations.  The British Library Turning the Pages books are also on display . . .  in the National Library of Medicine near Washington, USA.


Olny srmat poelpe can
Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!


How To Build A Web Page In 25 Steps
           1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.

           2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.

           3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released
                    3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.

           4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1 minute.

           5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like - 4 days.

           6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again - 25 minutes.

           7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.

           8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there - 4 hours.

           9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.

           10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.

           11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.

           12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone - 4 hours.

           13. Download a counter from your ISP - 4 minutes.

           14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number -16.3 E10" - 3 hours.

           15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text - 8 hours.

           16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP - 40 minutes.

           17. Accidentally delete your complete web page - 1 second.

           18. Recreate your web page - 2 days.

           19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server - 3 weeks.

           20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP - 30 minutes.

           21. Download FTP software - 10 minutes.

           22. Call your friend again - 15 minutes.

           23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server - 10 minutes.

           24. Connect to your site on the web - 1 minute.

           25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps - eternity.



WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE ON THE NET

   1. Post a message asking how to post messages.
   2. Lead a tireless crusade for the creation of newsgroups with silly names like alt.my.butt.is.hairy.
   3. Put 4 addresses, 5 lines of "Geek Code," 6 ASCII-art bicycles, a PGP key, and your home phone in your signature.
   4. Reinvigorate a discussion by switching attributions in followups.
   5. Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.
   6. Post a compendium of old articles from a thread that died months ago with a title such as "*** HAS JOE SMITH FORGOTTEN HIS LIES? ***"
   7. Post a 56-part binary MPG file of your dog throwing up to news.answers. Announce that you screwed it up and repeat.
   8. On the MST3K groups, ask what happened to Joel.
   9. Ask readers of rec.music.misc to post their favorite Zeppelin tune "for a poll."
  10. Reacquaint the readers of rec.humor with the "two-strings-go-in-a-bar" joke.
  11. Determine a perversion so bizarre or obscure that it doesn't yet have its own sex group.
  12. Post your new "War Heroes of India" FAQ to soc.culture.pakistan.
  13. Start this week's new AOL virus rumor.
  14. Format your posts for 90 columns (or 20).
  15. Provide a valuable public service by notifying the eager readers of roughly 1,200 newsgroups of your new "HOOTERAMA" phone sex service or "PorqWhiffe" pheramone cologne.
  16. Post elaborate conspiracy theories to talk.politics.misc detailing how ATF agents under the control of Chelsea Clinton and Socks have implanted invisible microchips in your genitals.
  17. Fill that empty mailbox, make new friends, delight your postmaster, and selflessly lead others to riches with a few "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts.
  18. Attempt to sell your sweaty underwear in alt.clothing.lingerie.
  19. Follow up a 200-line post to add only your signature.
  20. Crosspost Amiga articles to the Mac and PC newsgroups for a valuable interchange of provocative ideas.
  21. Announce a mailing list for Bill Gates' VISA card number.
  22. Inform the readers of alt.sex that your friend at a particular address is taking a penis length survey, and the first 1000 people to send him their measurements will receive free naked pictures of Cindy Crawford.
  23. Correct every spelling mistake you encounter, but misspell the word "imbecile" in your followup flames.
  24. Flame yourself, and complain to your own postmaster.
  25. Ask readers of the Star Trek groups when they last had dates.
  26. Post personal ads on groups such as alt.sex.diapers listing your work phone number.
  27. Post under the name Dave Rhodes.
  28. Followup every post in a newsgroup ranking them on a scale from 1 to 10.
  29. Establish your own little Usenet niche by writing a Wink Martindale FAQ.
  30. Advise other readers to ftp to 127.0.0.1 for "really cool nudie pics."
  31. Post daily word searches to rec.puzzles.
  32. Post your trig homework to sci.math and ask the readers to e-mail you the answers, since you "don't read the group."
  33. Provoke insightful and productive debates on fresh new topics such as abortion, gun control, the existence of God, penile circumcision, and the relative superiority of Mac or PC operating systems.
  34. Pick a cutesy handle that inspires vicarious embarrassment in other readers, such as "SoHot4U," "SokSnifer", or "WetNWild."
  35. Maintain a high-level of constructive decorum by addressingsomeone with whom you disagree as "monkey boy."
  36. Inform the readers of the sex groups that they're "going straight to hell," and then proceed to followup a variety of titillating posts.
  37. Post to alt.folklore.urban that this guy that a friend of your uncle's ex-girlfriend's boss knew received the donated heart of River Phoenix.
  38. Relentlessly inform the readers of groups such as rec.pets.iguanas or sci.agriculture of your UFO, JFK, OJ, NRA, NSA, Nutrasweet, and Azeri genocide theories. Relate them all to sunspot activity and ancient astronauts.
  39. Post instructions telling other readers how to put you in their killfile.
  40. Post whining, misspelled, and vaguely creepy personal ads in wildly inappropriate newsgroups, and followup to berate the readers for not responding.
  41. Announce that a particular site has opened up a new combination OJ Jury Info/Homemade Bombs/Kiddie Porn/Scientology Documents/Computer Subliminal Hypnosis ftp archive.
  42. Construct a device that lets your pets post to Usenet by pawing or pecking a feeder bar.
  43. Post the Niemann Marcus cookie recipe to rec.food.recipes.
  44. Eliminate nearly all meaningful traffic on a newsgroup for weeks by challenging its readership to come up with as many synonyms as possible for the word vomit.
  45. Accuse other posters of being AI experiments, Perl scripts, or Emacs macros.
  46. Claim that you can see "hidden images" in another person's posting when you cross your eyes.
  47. Ask Austrian readers about kangaroos.
  48. Ask Australian readers about alpine skiing.
  49. Include Rush lyrics or Rush quotes in all your posts.
  50. Accuse female posters of being male.
  51. Make an anonymous posting accusing others of cowardice.
  52. Accuse a fellow AOL or Prodigy subscriber of being a "newbie" because their 3 months on the net are dwarfed by your own span of 4.
  53. Insist that anyone objecting to your compulsive fascination with consuming the flesh of strangled disabled minors is "judgemental."
  54. If you've grown tired of typing, effectively end a thread by accusing others of being Nazis.
  55. Ask readers of soc.culture.nordic whether the Swedish Chef has a Sampo.
  56. Write and regularly post a FAQ about yourself.
  57. Post graphic descriptions of your bowel movements, genital sores, and various suppurating wounds to alt.tasteless.
  58. Ask readers of sci.med for urgent, step-by-step instructions on removing arrows, or inquire why all your extremities have turned dark purple.
  59. Insist that there's no such state in the U.S. as "New Mexico."
  60. Post only in Esperanto.
  61. Claim a copyright on the word "Usenet," and followup with a bill all posts you encounter that contain it.
  62. Sell "posting permits" in news.announce.newusers.
  63. Post single-part text messages in MIME format.
  64. Ask the readers of rec.sewing whether any of them want to be the drummer for your new band, "Death Monkeys."
  65. Claim to be an amorous highschool cheerleader while posting under a name such as "Robert Bradley Smith, Jr."
  66. In the spirit of purest optimism, ask other readers to followup with their account passwords and credit card numbers.
  67. Why use a single question mark or exclamation point when you can use at least thirty?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
  68. List a cute organization name in your header, such as "Canadians for Global Warming."
  69. Insult a poster from another nation based on his country's performance in World War II.
  70. Post vitriolic, frothing, hair-trigger flames in polite newsgroups, as if you were a testosterone-crazed adolescent debating which shotgun is superior in alt.games.doom.
  71. Followup spam posts in the belief that the originator, who probably follows the group closely and is desperately curious about receiving feedback, will see your impassioned plea and be so moved by your lengthy, point-by-point indictment of their conduct that they pledge to desist from such activity for all time.
  72. Regardless of its accuracy, followup another post with the line "BZZZT! Wrong answer!" or "Hello! McFly!"
  73. Use a 120-line ASCII graphic of Spock as your signature.
  74. Post to soc.culture.women asking "what's your favorite brand of oven mitt, little ladies?"
  75. Post to news.annnounce.newusers asking if there are any nurses in Portland willing to spank you. Followup with an apology. Followup again with the original article.
  76. Post with a newsreader that replaces punctuation marks with strange, non-ASCII characters.
  77. Steer all debates to your own pet subjects of expertise, regardless of their relevance.
  78. Make it clear from your postings that you've a profound inability to distinguish "The X Files" as fiction.
  79. Insist that another poster is really Serdar Argic or Kibo.
  80. Post 20-part encoded image files from NASA ftp archives that you claim show clear evidence of alien settlements.
  81. Insinuate vague conspiracies in all your posts.
  82. Spam post alarming ten-year-old files about Congressional bills to tax modem usage "in the name of freedom."
  83. Claim that unidentified government agencies are censoring your posts.
  84. Ask readers to collect aluminum pop-tops on behalf of Craig Shergold.
  85. Ask readers of comp.sci.algorithms how to get Super Mario to the castle.
  86. POST IN ALL CAPS
  87. omit all punctuation
  88. omitallspaces
  89. DOALLTHREEOFTHEABOVE
  90. Ask the readers of alt.current-events.net-abuse where to purchase Cantor and Siegel's book.
  91. Post the phone number of the Michigan Militia to alt.conspiracy as the "Classified ATF Secret Hotline."
  92. Compose an exhaustively researched 15-part FAQ detailing the favorite movie musicals of relatives of the Deep Space Nine cast. Post it weekly in its entirety.
  93. Strive to ensure that no two consecutive words in your posts are correctly spelled.
  94. Enrich the lives of thousands with a thoughtful and impassioned debate on the topic "AOL users suck."
  95. Dispense essential and priceless financial advice, such as the assertion that no one is legally required to pay taxes.
  96. Demand that others cease using the letter e, as you find it "dply offnsiv."
  97. Post to rec.music.misc insisting that "Curt Kobain should leave Pearl Jam since they'll never tour again."
  98. Assume that the entire Usenet hierarchy shares your interest in helping lonely Ukrainian lasses find love.
  99. Followup another person's posts every twelve minutes to accuse them of "obsessing."
 100. Followup two dozen of another person's posts to accuse them of harassing you. Send copious e-mail if you're ignored.
 101. Start pointless debates over topics such as whether Whoopi Goldberg has eyebrows, what happens when you cross the International Dateline, and whether the bad guy in Popeye cartoons was named "Bluto" or "Brutus."


RADIO SHACK Q&A

[Winner of one of the Original Comedy Awards.]

Do these guys at Radio Shack ever get on your nerves, asking you for a bunch of personal data when you're just there to buy something as simple as a couple AA batteries? I think we should inconvenience these people as much as they do us. A while ago I was in Enid buying a printer cable adaptor and the guy asked me for my name.

"Ghosseindhatsghabyfaird-johnson," I replied.

(blank look of confusion)

"How do you spell that?" he asked, obviously not wanting to know.

"With a hyphen," I clarified

"Once more?" he asked

"Ghosseindhatsghabyfaird-johnson"

"Could you please spell that?" he asked, glancing at the half dozen people waiting behind me.

"Oh... just like it sounds," I said nonchalantly.

Putting down "Johnson," he went on and asked about the address.

"Washburn, Wisconsin, 14701 N.E. Wachatanoobee Parkway, Complex 3, Building O, Appt. 1382b," I replied.

Almost through writing all this down, I said, "Or did you mean current address?"

Stoping, he said, (becoming irritated) "Yes. Current address."

"Diluthian Heights, Mississippi, 1372 S. Tinatonabee Avenue, Building 14C, Suite 2, Box 138201," I replied quite slowly.

Waiting until he finished I said, "No, wait, it's NORTH Tinatonabee Avenue." Annoyed, he backed up and changed it.

"I think," I interjected.

"And is all this correct?" he asked in a standard manner.

"Of course not," I replied, leaving, "If you want my REAL name and address, look at the damned credit card receipt."

A little mean, I must admit, but no jury would convict me... at least, none that had been to Radio Shack.


TAO OF PROGRAMMING

A master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices. "The Tao is embodied in all software--regardless of how insignificant," said the master.
"Is Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" continued the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the master.
"And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?"
The master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said.



THE DAY THE LILLIES BLOOMED By Jane Eppinga

A statue of a young fighter pilot stands in front of the old capitol building in Phoenix, Arizona. His name was Frank Luke, Jr., and his tour of duty in World War I was brief but spectacular. Downing eighteen enemy aircraft in less than a month, he became one of only four fighter pilots awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor in that war.

But there's more to the Frank Luke story than brave deeds in the skies above France. A most unusual event is recorded in the family Bible. It took place six thousand miles from the war, back home at Frank's parents' house in Phoenix, Arizona.

In September 1917, at age twenty, Frank was a handsome, happy-go-lucky lad. Fascinated by the new flying machines as a teenager, he joined the army and was accepted into flight training. At the end of his training, he was commissioned as a second lieutenant and given a fourteen-day leave. He went to Phoenix to be with his family one last time before going off to war.

One day during the leave, Frank was heading off to pal around with some old classmates. On his way out the door, his mother, Tillie, stopped him. She laid a hand on his arm and said, "Frank, dear, I've been meaning to ask you to plant some lily bulbs for me. The weather's so perfect for it today. Would you mind terribly?"

Tillie was known for her sweet and amiable nature, and Frank was happy to oblige her. He took the bag of bulbs and spent some time alone in the front yard before leaving to find his friends. Just a few days later, he shipped out to join the war in France.

Frank's tour of duty was uneventful until September 1918. During that month he came to specialize in the destruction of German observation balloons, as well as other enemy aircraft. In a seventeen-day period, Frank broke every record for downing enemy aircraft. Dubbed the "Balloon Buster," he destroyed one after another, sometimes with his partner and sometimes on his own. On one astounding mission, he shot down three planes and two balloons in just ten minutes. All together, in those few days Frank accounted for fourteen balloons and four German planes. He was christened the American "Ace of Aces" of his day.

Back in Phoenix, the family read about Frank's brave exploits in the newspapers. Then, on September 29, his mother stepped into the front yard to find an amazing sight. The lilies that Frank had planted on leave had suddenly burst into bloom strangely out of season in September. But that wasn't all. Once blooming, it was clear that they formed the cross-like shape of a World War I airplane! Frank was crazy about airplanes and also a devout Catholic, so his intention could have been either.

The family members gathered and exclaimed at the sight, saying those lilies should have bloomed in June, not September! And, how like Frank it was to have planted them in some special way. Word of the marvel spread. A newspaper photographer came to the house and that week the Sunday paper ran a photo of Tillie standing beside the cross of lilies.

But, from the first moment she saw them, Tillie's response to the flowers was one of sorrow. She brushed away tears, certain that something must be wrong with Frank.

On November 25, two weeks after the Armistice ended World War I, Tillie's fears were realized. The family received notification from the Red Cross that Frank was missing in action. They would learn much later that Frank had single-handedly shot down three German observation balloons on his last mission. He was wounded in flight and managed to land without crashing in Murvaux. But his wounds were severe, and he died later that day.

Frank Luke, Jr., had made his final heroic flight on September 29 the day the lilies bloomed.




MORE QUOTATIONS 
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old broom knows all the corners.
          -- Irish Proverb

If youth only knew; if age only could.
          -- Henri Estienne



The best gifts are those which expect no return.
          -- Norwegian Proverb

The manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift.
          -- Pierre Corneille



One moment of patience may ward off a great disaster;
one moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
          -- Chinese Proverb

The key to everything is patience.
You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.
          -- Arnold H. Glasow 



The best memory is that which forgets nothing but injuries.
Write kindness in marble and write injuries in the dust.
          -- Persian Proverb

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
          -- William H. Walton



Misfortunes always come in by a door that has been left open for them.
          -- Czech Proverb

Be cautious.  Opportunity does the knocking for temptation too.
          -- Al Batt 



     Be humble for you are made of earth.
     Be noble for you are made of stars.
          -- Serbian Proverb

     Lord, where we are wrong,
     make us willing to change;
     where we are right,
     make us easy to live with.
          -- Rev. Peter Marshall 



Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
          -- Czech Proverb

Friends are relatives you make for yourself.
          -- Eustache Deschamps 



Advice should be viewed from behind.
          -- Swedish Proverb

Advice should always be consumed between two thick slices of doubt.
          -- Walt Schmidt 



Learn young, learn fair; learn old, learn more.
          -- Scottish Proverb

Every adult needs a child to teach; it's the way adults learn.
          -- Frank A. Clark 



Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.
          -- Italian Proverb

If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it.
          -- Pam Shaw 



Wood that grows warped can never be straightened.
          -- Greek Proverb

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.
          -- Lady Bird Johnson 



If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
          -- Yiddish Proverb

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good, firm push.
          -- Joann Thomas 



 I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no shit to haul.
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch,
Just punch a hole in the son of a  bitch. 
"Those who contemplate the beauty of the Earth find reserves of strength

that will endure as long as life lasts." --Rachel Carson
"People stand themselves next to the righteous

They believe the things they say are true
And speak in terms of what divides us
To justify the violence they do" --Jackson Browne, "It is One"
Every judgment teeters on the brink of error.

To claim absolute knowledge is to become monstrous.
Knowledge is an unending adventure at the edge of uncertainty.
 - Frank Herbert
"Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is"

- Vincent Thomas "Vince" Lombardi (1913-1970)


The coffin is the brother of the cradle.
          -- German Proverb

Do not take life too seriously.  You will never get out of it alive.
          -- Elbert Hubbard 



An empty purse frightens away friends.
          -- English Proverb

One must be poor to know the luxury of giving.
          -- George Eliot 


A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.
          -- Chinese Proverb

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
          -- Doug Larson 


Some people like to make of life a garden, and to walk only within its paths.
          -- Japanese Proverb

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
          -- Walter Bagehot 


A man is as old as he feels himself to be.
          -- English Proverb

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
          -- Satchell Paige 


Everyone loves justice in the affairs of another.
          -- Italian Proverb

Injustice is relatively easy to bear;  what stings is justice.
          -- H. L. Mencken 


If you wish to learn the highest truths, begin with the alphabet.
          -- Japanese Proverb

I am a part of all I have read.
          -- John Kieran 


A child may have too much of his mother's blessing.
          -- Scottish Proverb

If children grew up according to early indications,  we should have nothing but geniuses.
          -- Goethe 


Each day provides its own gifts.
          -- American Proverb

The future is purchased by the present.
          -- Samuel Johnson


To endure what is unendurable is true endurance.
          -- Japanese Proverb

That enfabled rock, that ship of life, that swarming million-footed, tower-masted, sky-soaring citadel that bears the magic name of the Island of Manhattan.
          -- Thomas Wolfe 


All things grow with time, except grief.
          -- Yiddish Proverb

Sorrow is a fruit; God does not allow it to grow  on a branch that is too weak to bear it.
          -- Victor Hugo 


A word out of season may mar a whole lifetime.
          -- Greek Proverb

The thoughtless are rarely wordless.
          -- Howard W. Newton


One should go invited to a friend in good fortune, and uninvited in misfortune.
          -- Swedish Proverb

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.
          -- John Churton Collins


A young doctor makes a humpy churchyard.
          -- English Proverb

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
          -- John Donne 


One may have good eyes and yet see nothing.
          -- Italian Proverb

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
          -- Publilius Syrus 


Each day provides its own gifts.
          -- American Proverb

The future comes one day at a time.
          -- Dean Acheson 


A camel never sees its own hump.
          -- African Proverb

It is difficult to see the picture when you are inside the frame.
          -- R.S. Trapp 


Heroism is endurance for one moment more.
          -- Caucasian Mountain Proverb

Victory belongs to the most persevering.
          -- Napoleon 


If I am like others, who will be like me?
          -- Yiddish Proverb

Be true to your self and you will never fail.
          -- Written by Danielle P., a 6th grade student  in Connecticut 


All things change, and we change with them.
          -- Latin Proverb

Keep changing.  When you're through changing, you're through.
          -- Bruce Barton 


Everything passes, everything breaks, everything wearies.
          -- French Proverb

Every civilization that has ever existed has ultimately collapsed.
          -- Henry Kissinger 


You can fall down by yourself but you need a friend's hand to get up.
          -- Yiddish Proverb

The best time to make friends is before you need them.
          -- Henny Youngman 


The world is a rose; smell it and pass it to your friends.
          -- Persian Proverb

Every once in a while, take the scenic route.
          -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.  ("Life's Little Instruction Book") 


No branch is better than its trunk.
          -- Japanese Proverb

Heredity is something every man believes in until his own son begins acting like a darn fool!
          -- Old Postcard 


He is most cheated who cheats himself.
          -- Danish Proverb

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.
          -- John Steinbeck 


A guest is like rain: when he lingers on, he becomes a nuisance.
          -- Yiddish Proverb

Santa Claus has the right idea: Visit people once a year.
          -- Victor Borge 


Enjoy yourself; it's later than you think.
          -- Chinese Proverb

Enjoy life: this is not a rehearsal.
          -- Bumper sticker 


A man's worst enemies can't wish on him what he can think up himself.
          -- Yiddish Proverb

If we were brought to trial for the crimes we have committed against ourselves, few would escape the gallows.
          -- Paul Eldridge 


Broken eggs can never be mended.
          -- New England Proverb

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.
          -- H.R. Haldeman (on Watergate) 


Visits always give pleasure - if not the arrival, the departure.
          -- Portuguese Proverb

When guests stay too long, try treating them like members of the family.  If they don't leave then, they never will.
          -- Martin Ragaway 


Ten enemies cannot do a man the harm that he does to himself.
          -- Yiddish Proverb

If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to boot yourself in the posterior.
          -- A.J. Liebling 


In the land of hope, there is never any winter.
          -- Russian Proverb

Hope smiles on the threshold of the year to come, whispering that it will be happier.
          -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson 



Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
        -- Aldous Huxley

BRAIN FREEZE

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