Volume 16
A Fun Site created by
Professor William Hillman culled from a daily motivational series
compiled for his BU Education Classes 2000-2009
The daily tech news items have been omitted since many of the stories are now "old news."

An eclectic collection of oddities, humorous anecdotes, weird photos, funny headlines, cartoons, puzzles, inspirational items, jokes, and more. . .  gathered here as a reference repository for speakers, lecturers, teachers, students, writers, or Web travellers just looking for diversion and a bit of levity. 

You may not believe in this but the advice is great!
Read all the way down, you might learn something!!!



Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. 
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. 
When you say, "I love you", mean it. 
When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 
Believe in love at first sight. 
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. 
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. 
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling. 
Don't judge people by their relatives. 
Talk slowly but think quickly. 
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" 
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. 
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self; 
Respect for others; 
Responsibility for all your actions. 
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. 
Spend some time alone. 

 The Hillman Stereoview Archive 
3-D Images of Canada's Early Years 

 By: Paul Harvey
These things I wish for you – tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.  To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life.  Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I’m here for you. And if I die before you do, I’ll go to heaven and wait for you.


One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Oh Yeah" said the son.

"So what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered,
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

With this the boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."

Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don't have. What is one person's worthless object is another's prize possession. It is all based on one's perspective. Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty we have, instead of worrying about wanting more. Take joy in all you have, especially your friends.

 If I knew it would be the last time
 That I'd see you fall asleep,
 I would tuck you in more tightly
 and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

 If I knew it would be the last time
 that I see you walk out the door,
 I would give you a hug and kiss
 and call you back for one more.

 If I knew it would be the last time
 I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
 I would video tape each action and word,
 so I could play them back day after day.

 If I knew it would be the last time,
 I could spare an extra minute
 to stop and say "I love you,"
 instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

 If I knew it would be the last time
 I would be there to share your day,
 Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
 so I can let just this one slip away.

 For surely there's always tomorrow
 to make up for an oversight,
 and we always get a second chance
 to make everything just right.

 There will always be another day
 to say "I love you,"
 And certainly there's another chance
 to say our "Anything I can do?"

 But just in case I might be wrong,
 and today is all I get,
 I'd like to say how much I love you
 and I hope we never forget.

 Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
 young or old alike,
 And today may be the last chance
 you get to hold your loved one tight.

 So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
 why not do it today?
 For if tomorrow never comes,
 you'll surely regret the day,

 That you didn't take that extra time
 for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
 and you were too busy to grant someone,
 what turned out to be their one last wish.

 So hold your loved ones close today,
 and whisper in their ear,
 Tell them how much you love them
 and that you'll always hold them dear

 Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
 "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
 And if tomorrow never comes,
 you'll have no regrets about today.

The Young Lutheran’s Guide to the Orchestra
by Garrison Keillor
To each person, God gives some talent such as comedy, just to name one, or the ability to suffer, and to some persons God has given musical talent, though not to as many as think so. So for a young Lutheran considering an orchestral career, the first question to ask yourself is, “Do I have a genuine God-given talent, or do I only seem talented compared to other young Lutherans?” Because most Lutherans aren’t musicians, they’re choir members. Mostly altos and basses. And they can be sure that their gift is God-given, because who else but God would be interested? Nobody goes into choir music for the wrong reasons. But orchestra... do you know what you’re getting into? You’re getting into opera for one thing. Don Juan and Mephistopheles, pagan goddesses screeching and being strangled and thrown off balconies. And even if you stick to concert music, where are the Christian composers? Modern ones are existentialists, the romantics were secular humanists, the 18th century was all rationalists, and the 17th were Italian except for Bach. And you can’t make a living playing Bach. In the Bible, we read about people singing and playing musical instruments, including the harp, the last trump, the cymbal, the psaltery. But in the Bible, music was in praise of the Lord, not for amusement. We don’t read that our Lord Himself ever played an instrument or enjoyed hearing other people play theirs. The apostles did not attend concerts. They weren’t in the arts—maybe there’s a reason for that. You play in an orchestra, you’re going to be devoting your life to music that sort of swirls around in spiritual mystery. Searching for answers that people could find in the Epistle to the Romans if somebody just showed them where it is.
What Type of Instrument?
But if you’re determined to play in an orchestra, then you ought to ask yourself, “Which instrument is the best one for a Lutheran to play?” Which instrument would our Lord have chosen, assuming He played an instrument?  And assuming He was Lutheran.

The Wind Section
French Horn
  Probably not a French horn: the French horn takes too much of a person’s life. French horn players hardly have time to marry and have children. The French horn is practically a religious belief all by itself. In some orchestras, the horn players are required to be celibate—sometimes by their wives. Because they think about the horn all the time anyway.

Should a Lutheran play the bassoon? Not if you want to be taken seriously, I don’t think so. The name kind of says it all: bassoon. It’s an instrument that isn’t playing with a full deck of marbles. Maybe it’s something you’d do for a hobby (“Hey honey, let’s go bassooning this weekend!”), but not as your life’s work. Some bassoonists filling out applications for home loans just say “orthodontist.”

Many Lutherans start out playing clarinets in marching band and think of it as a pretty good instrument and kind of sociable. You pick up a clarinet, and you feel like getting together with other people and forming an “M.” But the symphonic clarinet is different: clever, sarcastic, kind of snooty.  It’s a nice small town instrument that went to college and after that you can’t get a simple answer out of them. It is a French instrument, you know.  Ever wonder why there are no French Lutherans? Probably the wine wasn’t good enough for them. The oboe is the sensualist of the woodwind section, and if there is one wind Lutherans should avoid, it’s probably this one. In movie soundtracks, you tend to hear the oboe when the woman is taking her clothes off. Also a little later when she asks the man for a cigarette. You start playing the oboe, you’re going to have babies, take my word for it.

English Horn
The English horn sounds Christian, maybe because we think of it as the Anglican horn, but it’s so mournful, so plaintive. And so are English horn players. They all have deep complicated problems. They’re all down in the dumps, especially at night, which is when most concerts are. Maybe because they want what oboists have, I don’t know.

The flute is the show-off of the wind section, the big shot: Jean-Pierre Rampal, James Galway—both millionaires. (How many millionaire bassoonists can you name real fast?) Well, that’s fine. Everybody knows it’s the hardest, blowing across a tiny hole with your head tilted all your life: it’s like soloing on a pop bottle. The problem with the flute is that it vibrates your brain, and you start wearing big white caftans and smocks and eat roots and berries. You become a pantheist and sit in meadows, and you believe that all is one and God is everything—God is a column of air vibrating—and you know that’s not right.

The last member of the woodwind family is the flakiest and that’s the piccolo. It’s never in tune. Never has been, never will be. All you can play with it is the blues. Which, being a Lutheran, we don’t have anyway.

The String Section
We come now to the string section. Strings are mentioned in scripture and some young Christians are tempted to become string players. But you want to be careful. Bass, for example. A very deliberate instrument, the plow horse of the orchestra: and bass players do tend to be more methodical, not so spontaneous or witty or brilliant necessarily, but reliable. Which makes the instrument appealing to German Lutherans. And yet bass notes do have a certain texture and a tone, a darkness, a depth that—my gosh, when you see those guys pick up their bows back there, doesn’t it make you think the same thing that I do? And if we do, just think what they’re thinking about....

The cello section seems pleasant, and cellists seem like such nice people.  The way they put their arms around their instruments, they look like parents at a day care center zipping up snowsuits. They seem like us: comfortable, mid-range, able to see both sides of things. And yet, there’s something about the cello that’s hard to put your fingers on. It just doesn’t seem right. Maybe, it’s the way they hold the instrument the way they do. Why can’t they hold it across their laps? Or beside themselves?  I’m only asking.

The viola section is no place for a Lutheran and here you have to take my word for it, because I know violists and they’re okay until late at night, they like to build a fire in a vacant lot and drink red wine and roast a chicken on a clothes hanger and talk about going to Mexico with somebody named Rita. Violists have this dark, moody, gypsy streak, especially when they get older, and they realize that their instrument for some reason cannot be heard beyond the stage. You think you hear the violas, but it’s really the second violins.

First Violin
The first violin is a problem for a Christian because it’s a solo virtuoso instrument and we Christians are humble and decent people. The first violins see the maestro look to them first, and most of them believe that he secretly takes his cue from watching their bows go up and down. The maestro, who has a great nimbus of hair and is here on a temporary work permit, is hypnotized by listening to the violins and forgets which page he’s on and looks to the violins to find out what’s going on—this is what most violinists believe in their hearts. That if the maestro dropped dead, the orchestra would just follow the violins while his little body was carried off into the wings, and nobody in the audience would notice any difference except that now they would have an unobstructed view of the violin section. Is this a place for a Lutheran to be? Did our Lord say “Blessed are they who stand up in front and take deep bows for they shall receive bigger fees?” No, He did not.

Second Violin
The second violin section is attractive to Lutherans because these people are steady, supportive and helpful, but look who it is they help—they help out the first violins. You want to play second fiddle to that crowd? (No, I hope not.) One thing you may not know about second violins is that the parts are so easy they never practice and they wind up staying out late in singles bars on the freeway near the airport and dancing with software salesmen. But I guess that’s their way.

The Brass Section
Let’s be clear about one thing about the brass section. The rest of the orchestra wishes the brass were playing in another room. So does the conductor. His back is toward you so that you can’t see what he’s saying to them but what he’s saying is, “Would you mind taking that thing outside?” The brass section is made up of men who were at one time in the construction trades. They went into music because the hours are better and there’s less dust. They’re heavy dudes and that’s why composers wrote so few notes for them. Because after they play, you can’t hear for a while.  The tuba player is normally a stocky, bearded guy whose hobby is plumbing.  The only member of the orchestra who bowls over 250 and gets his deer every year and changes his own oil. In his locker downstairs, he keeps a pair of lederhosen for free-lance jobs. Anyway, there’s only one tuba in the bunch and he’s it.

The trombonist is a humorist, sort of the brother-in-law of the orchestra.  He carries a water spray gun to keep his slide moist and often uses it against his neighbors. That’s why they duck down back there. He’s nobody you’d ever want to see become artistic director; you just hope he doesn’t sit right behind you.

The trumpet is the brass instrument you imagine as Christian, thinking of Gideon and Gabriel, and then you meet one in real life, and you realize how driven these people are. They don’t want to wear black tie; they want to wear capes and swords and tassels; they want to play as loud as they can and see mallards drop from the ceiling. Of the people who’ve keeled over dead at orchestra concerts, most of them were killed by a long trumpet passage. And most of them were glad to go.

Percussion Section
There are two places in the orchestra for a Lutheran and one is the percussion section. It’s the most Christian instrument there is.  Percussionists are endlessly patient because they hardly ever get to play.  Pages and pages of music go by when the violins are sawing away and the winds are tooting and the brass are blasting, and the percussionist sits there and counts the bars like a hunter in the blind waiting for a grouse to appear. A percussionist may have to wait for twenty minutes just to play a few beats, but those beats have to be exact, and they have to be passionate, climactic. All that the Epistles of Paul say a Christian should be—faithful, waiting, trusting, filled with fervor—are the qualities of the good percussionist.

The Harp
The other Lutheran instrument, of course, is the harp. It’s a good instrument for any Christian because it keeps you humble and keeps you at home. You can’t run around with a harp. Having one is like living with an elderly parent in very poor health: it’s hard to get them in and out of cars, and it’s hard to keep them happy. It takes fourteen hours to tune a harp, which remains in tune for about twenty minutes, or until somebody opens the door. It’s an instrument for a saint. If a harpist could find a good percussionist, they wouldn’t need anybody else. They could settle down and make perfectly good music, just the two of them.


    Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
    Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
    Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

    House passes gas tax onto senate
    Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
    Two convicts evade noose, jury hung

    William Kelly was fed secretary
    Milk drinkers are turning to powder
    Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

    Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
    Farmer bill dies in house
    Iraqi head seeks arms

Some become unintentionally suggestive

    Queen Mary having bottom scraped
    Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
    Prostitutes appeal to Pope

    Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
    NJ judge to rule on nude beach
    Child's stool great for use in garden

    Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
    Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
    Organ festival ends in smashing climax

Grammar often botches other headlines

    Eye drops off shelf
    Squad helps dog bite victim
    Dealers will hear car talk at noon

    Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
    Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
    Miners refuse to work after death

    Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
    Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:

    Never withhold herpes from loved one
    Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

    Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
    Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better

Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious

    If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
    War dims hope for peace
    Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency

    Cold wave linked to temperatures
    Child's death ruins couple's holiday
    Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years

    Man is fatally slain
    Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
    Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: Chicago Tribune

Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: Schenectady
Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch

How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author
Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, NY Democrat & Chronicle

                       Man shoots himself in foot 3 times cleaning guns
                       Toy gun scares robber using toy gun
                       Man guilty in lawn mower DUI case

                       Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
                       3-year Old Teacher Needed For Pre-School. Experience Preferred
                       Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jay Walkers

                       Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
                       Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

                       Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
                       Miners Refuse To Work After Death

                              Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
                              Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
                              British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

                              Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
                              Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
                              Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

                              Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
                              New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
                              Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

                              Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
                              Air Head Fired
                              Steals Clock, Faces Time

                              Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
                              Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
                              Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Ref: Aha Jokes

Here's the final word on Nutrition and Health. It's a relief to know  the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what  kills you.

Latin Names for Animals:

Cat - feline
Dog - canine
Horse - equine
Pig - porcine
Sheep – ovine
Bear - ursine
Fox – vulpine
Wolf – lupine
Rabbit - lapine
Goat- caprine
Lion - leonine
Skunk – musteline
Seal - phocine or otarine
Rhinoceros – ceratorhine
Raccoon - procyonine

Turn On Mouse Trails 

If you often lose track of your mouse pointer as it moves across the screen, and have tried everything including slowing down the speed of your mouse, don’t despair. Just add a trail to your mouse pointer! Here's how:

1. Click Start/Settings/Control Panel
2. Select Mouse
3. Click the Motion tab
4. Under the Cursor Trails section, select the Enable check box.
5. Move the Trail Length sliding control to adjust the length of the trail.
6. Click the Apply and OK buttons.

Tricks used by hackers to steal your password

This information can be obtained much easier than you think. The hacker can use this information to get into your e-mail, computer, or online banking. The main impediment standing between your information remaining safe, or leaking out, is the password you choose. (Ironically, the best protection people have is usually the one they take least seriously.)

  • Your partner, child, or pet’s name, possibly followed by a 0 or 1 (because they’re always making you use a number, aren’t they?)
  • The last 4 digits of your social security number.
  • 123 or 1234 or 123456.
  • “password”
  • Your city, or college, football team name.
  • Date of birth - yours, your partner’s or your child’s.
  • “god”
  • “letmein”
  • “money”
  • “love”
  • Statistically speaking that should probably cover about 20% of people.

    One of the simplest ways to gain access to your information is through the use of a Brute Force Attack. This is accomplished when a hacker uses a specially written piece of software to attempt to log into a site using your credentials. Insecure.org has a list of the Top 10  Password Crackers.

    So, how would one use this process to actually breach your personal security? Simple. Follow this logic:

    You probably use the same password for lots of stuff.
    Some sites you access such as your Bank or work VPN probably have pretty decent security, so they are not going to attack them.
    However, other sites like the Hallmark e-mail greeting cards site, an online forum you frequent, or an e-commerce site you’ve shopped at might not be as well prepared. So those are the ones they'd work on.
    So, all they have to do now is unleash Brutus, wwwhack, or THC Hydra on their server with instructions to try say 10,000 (or 100,000 - whatever makes you happy) different usernames and passwords as fast as possible.
    Once they’ve got several login+password pairings we can then go back and test them on targeted sites.
    But wait… How do they know which bank you use and what your login ID is for the sites you frequent? All those cookies are simply stored, unencrypted and nicely named, in your Web browser’s cache. (Read this post to remedy that problem.)
    And how fast could this be done? Well, that depends on three main things, the length and complexity of your password, the speed of the hacker’s computer, and the speed of the hacker’s Internet connection.

    Assuming the hacker has a reasonably fast connection and PC here is an estimate of the amount of time it would take to generate every possible combination of passwords for a given number of characters. After generating the list it’s just a matter of time before the computer runs through all the possibilities - or gets shut down trying.

    Pay particular attention to the difference between using only lowercase characters and using all possible characters (uppercase, lowercase, and special characters - like @#$%^&*). Adding just one capital letter and one asterisk would change the processing time for an 8 character password from 2.4 days to 2.1 centuries.

    Password Length All Characters Only Lowercase
    3 characters
    4 characters
    5 characters
    6 characters
    7 characters
    8 characters
    9 characters
    10 characters
    11 characters
    12 characters
    13 characters
    14 characters
    0.86 seconds
    1.36 minutes
    2.15 hours
    8.51 days
    2.21 years
    2.10 centuries
    20 millennia
    1,899 millennia
    180,365 millennia
    17,184,705 millennia
    1,627,797,068 millennia
    154,640,721,434 millennia
    0.02 seconds
    .046 seconds
    11.9 seconds
    5.15 minutes
    2.23 hours
    2.42 days
    2.07 months
    4.48 years
    1.16 centuries
    3.03 millennia
    78.7 millennia
    2,046 millennia
    Remember, these are just for an average computer, and these assume you aren’t using any word in the dictionary. If Google put their computer to work on it they’d finish about 1,000 times faster.

    Now, I could go on for hours and hours more about all sorts of ways to compromise your security and generally make your life miserable - but 95% of those methods begin with compromising your weak password. So, why not just protect yourself from the start and sleep better at night?

    Here are some password tips:

  • Randomly substitute numbers for letters that look similar. The letter ‘o’ becomes the number ‘0?, or even better an ‘@’ or ‘*’. (i.e. - m0d3ltf0rd… like modelTford)
  • Randomly throw in capital letters (i.e. - Mod3lTF0rd)
  • Think of something you were attached to when you were younger, but DON’T CHOOSE A PERSON’S NAME! Every name plus every word in the dictionary will fail under a simple brute force attack.
  • Maybe a place you loved, or a specific car, an attraction from a vacation, or a favorite restaurant?
  • You really need to have different username / password combinations for everything. Remember, the technique is to break into anything you access just to figure out your standard password, then compromise everything else. This doesn’t work if you don’t use the same password everywhere.
  • Since it can be difficult to remember a ton of passwords, try using Roboform. It will store all of your passwords in an encrypted format and allow you to use just one master password to access all of them. It will also automatically fill in forms on Web pages, and you can even get versions that allow you to take your password list with you on your PDA, phone or a USB key.
  • Once you’ve thought of a password, try Microsoft’s password strength tester to find out how secure it is.
  • Another thing to keep in mind is that some of the passwords you think matter least actually matter most. For example, some people think that the password to their e-mail box isn’t important because “I don’t get anything sensitive there.” Well, that e-mail box is probably connected to your online banking account. If it can be compromisee  then they can log into the Bank’s Web site and tell it I’ve forgotten my password to have it e-mailed to them.

  • Often times people also reason that all of their passwords and logins are stored on their computer at home, which is safe behind a router or firewall device. Of course, they’ve never bothered to change the default password on that device, so someone could drive up and park near the house, use a laptop to breach the wireless network and then try passwords from this list until they gain control of your network - after which time they will own you!
    Please, be safe. It’s a jungle out there.

    One Man's Blog Reference
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