Things My Mother Taught Me
This is HORRIBLE
KIDS II: Things to Think About
Would Education Help?
Sesame Street Personality Test
The Importance of Punctuation
For Aging Music Lovers
History Test Answers
What's a Meta For?
21 Facts About The Internet You Should Know!
The American Society of Magazine Editors has ranked the top magazine covers of the last 40 years:
1. Rolling Stone, Jan. 22, 1981, John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
2. Vanity Fair, August 1991, Demi Moore.
3. Esquire, April 1968, Muhammad Ali.
4. The New Yorker, March 29, 1976, Saul Steinberg drawing of Manhattan.
5. Esquire, May 1969, Andy Warhol.
6. The New Yorker, Sept. 24, 2001, Illustration of World Trade Center.
7. National Lampoon, January 1973, "If You Don't Buy This Magazine, We'll Kill This Dog."
8. Esquire, October 1966, "Oh my god _ we hit a little girl."
9. Harper's Bazaar, September 1992, "Enter the Era of Elegance."
10. National Geographic, June 1985, Afghan refugee.
11. Life, April 30, 1965, 18-week-old fetus.
12. Time, April 8, 1966, "Is God Dead?"
13. Life, Special Issue, 1969, man on the moon.
14. The New Yorker, Dec. 10, 2001, illustration of New York City map.
15. Harper's Bazaar, April 1965.
16. The Economist, Sept. 10-16, 1994, photo of camels, "The trouble With mergers."
17. Time, June 21, 1968, "The Gun in America."
18. ESPN, June 29, 1998, Michael Jordan.
19. Esquire, December 2000, Bill Clinton.
20. Blue, October 1997.
21. Life, Nov. 26, 1965, Vietcong prisoner with eyes and mouth taped.
22. George, October/November 1995, Cindy Crawford.
23. The Nation, Nov. 13, 2000, George W. Bush.
24. Interview, December 1972, Andy Warhol.
25. Time, Sept. 14, 2001, World Trade Center.
26. People, March 4, 1974, Mia Farrow.
27. Entertainment Weekly, May 2, 2003, The Dixie Chicks.
28. Life, April 16, 1965, dying pilot and helicopter crew chief.
29. (tie) Playboy, October 1971.
29. (tie) Fortune, Oct. 1, 2001, man covered in ashes near World Trade Center.
31. Newsweek, Nov. 20, 2000, image of Al Gore/George W. Bush.
32. Vogue, May 2004, Nicole Kidman.
33. (tie) Newsweek, July 30, 1973, Nixon White House and tape recorder
33. (tie) Wired, June 1997, "Pray."
35. New York, June 8, 1970, "Free Leonard Bernstein!"
36. People, Sept. 15, 1997, black-and-white portrait of Princess Diana.
37. (tie) Details, February 1989, Cyndi Lauper.
37. (tie) Fast Company, August/September 1997, "The Brand Called You."
37. (tie) Glamour, August 1968, Katiti Kironde II
37. (tie) National Geographic, October 1978, gorilla with camera.
37. (tie) Time, April 14, 1997, Ellen DeGeneres.
Les Paul, in his 90s, cuts his first rock album
Guitar virtuoso teams up with Frampton, Clapton, Beck, Page
NEW YORK -- Take it from Peter Frampton. Or from Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton, Pete Townshend or Jimmy Page -- they all owe a debt to Les Paul, father of the electric guitar. "They all mention Les as an inspiration because of (his) early records, which were jaw-dropping when you first heard them as a novice guitarist," says Frampton, who recalls learning licks off of Paul's records as a nine-year-old in England. "We revere him, but Les is so genuine and down-to-earth that he's still one of the lads." In his 90s, the man who developed the solid-body electric guitar, and who has long been a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, has finally released his first rock album, Les Paul & Friends: American Made, World Played. The list of friends includes Frampton, Beck, Clapton, Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top, Bon Jovi's Richie Sambora and other guitar legends. . . .
Born Lester William Polsfuss on June 9, 1915, to a German immigrant family in Waukesha, Wis., Paul has done more than perhaps any other individual to create the tools and techniques that shaped the past 60 years of pop music -- from Alvin and the Chipmunks' sped-up tapes to ZZ Top-style southern rock powered by Gibson's Les Paul-model guitars. Paul built one of the first prototypes for the solid-body electric guitar in 1941. After repeated rejections, Gibson finally began mass-producing a guitar based on Paul's design in 1952. Paul also developed many of the recording techniques such as multi-tracking and echo delay that made possible such classic rock albums as the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. . . .
But what keeps Paul going more than anything else are his Monday night gigs at the Iridium, where Paul McCartney or Bob Dylan might turn up in the audience and legends like Tony Bennett, Keith Richards or Jeff Beck might show up on stage. "I wouldn't miss Monday for anything," Paul said. "It gives you a reason to get out of bed other than to go to the bathroom."
More . . .
Things My Mother Taught Me
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
If you have a weak stomach, then don't scroll down to the bottom of the page .....it is a picture of a jumper that of course ended in his demise, with his insides now on the outside. You will see the look of horror on the faces of the bystanders.
This is HORRIBLE!
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve
"She started it!" Adam said
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
KIDS II: THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
Would Education Help?1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
"Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B?
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT?
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellllllooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
Ever wondered which childhood character you are most like? Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of Sesame Street characters, and put the information gathered into this quiz.
Sesame Street Personality Test
Answer each question with the answer that most describes you, then add up the points that correspond with your answer. Then send this to all your friends, including the person who sent it to you with your character in the subject line. Get a pen and paper because you'll want to keep track of the question number and your answer. You'll need both to unlock the secret code at the end.
1) What describes your perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner for two
b) Amusement park
c) Rollerblading in the park
d) Rock concert
e) See a movie
2) What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll
c) Soft Rock
3) What is your favorite type of movie?
4) Which of the following jobs would you chose if you were given only these choices?
b) Sports Player
5) Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?
a) Work out
c) Watch TV
d) Listen to the radio
6) Of the following colors, which do you like the best?
c) sky blue
7) Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?
a) ice cream
8) What is your favorite holiday?
c) New Year's
d) Valentine's Day
9) If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?
c) Las Vegas
10) Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?
a) Someone who is smart
b) Someone with good looks
c) Someone who is a party animal
d) Someone who has fun all the time
e) Someone who is very emotional
Now total up your points and find your character below:
Q 1 ... a=4 b=2 c=5 d=1 e=3
Q 2 ... a=2 b=1 c=4 d=5 e=3
Q 3 ... a=2 b=1 c=3 d=4 e=5
Q 4 ... a=4 b=5 c=3 d=2 e=1
Q 5 ... a=5 b=4 c=2 d=1 e=3
Q 6 ... a=1 b=5 c=3 d=2 e=4
Q 7 ... a=3 b=2 c=1 d=4 e=5
Q 8 ... a=1 b=3 c=2 d=4 e=5
Q 9 ... a=4 b=5 c=1 d=2 e=3
Q 10... a=5 b=2 c=1 d=3 e=4
(10-17 points): You are OSCAR. You are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life. People don't always see things your way, but that doesn't mean that you should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others.
(18-26 points) You are ERNIE. You are fun, friendly, and popular. You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are important to you, but only after you have fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray.
(27-34 points) You are ELMO. You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of backstabbers, and you are worry free.
(35-42 points) You are KERMIT. You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments. A family person. You call your Mom every Sunday,
and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.
(43-50 points) You are BERT. You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don't overlook a bad situation when it does happen. Now put your character in the subject line, then forward this to your friends and back to the one who sent it to you.
1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: --Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
The Importance of Punctuation
2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: -- Bargain Basement Upstairs
3. IN AN OFFICE: --Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.
4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: --After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: --This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)
6. OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: --We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
7. QUICKSAND WARNING: --Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: --Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: --Closed due to illness.
10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: --Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: --For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: --The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: --If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: --We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: --Toilet out of border. Please use floor below.
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I ' M A DOT IN PLACE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once): TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
FOR AGING MUSIC LOVERS
For those who are feeling a little older and missing those great old tunes, there is good news! Some of our old favourites have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate their aging audience.
Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker"
The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip"
The Temptations - "Papa's Got a Kidney Stone"
Nancy Sinatra - "These Boots Aren't Made for Bunions"
The Beatles - "I Get By With A Little Help From Depends"
Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through The Grape Nuts"
The Rolling Stones - "You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
Paul Simon - "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver"
Roberta Flack - "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
ABBA - "Denture Queen"
Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom"
Bobby Darin - Splish Splash I was Havin' a Flash
Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now"
Procol Harem - "A Whiter Shade of Hair"
HISTORY TEST ANSWERS
The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history tests. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling.
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Soc rates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
6. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee , Brutus."
7. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
8. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
9. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another
important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented
cigarettes and started smoking.
10. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. >
13. Delegates from the original 1 3 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his at tic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers
18. Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote of his adventures in Tarzana, CA and became famous there because of his jungle property which was inlaid with tigers and lions. He killed a few with his bare hands and made a movie to show it. He also traveled to Mars before it was a planet, and established a red flag there. That is why it is called the red planet. He hopped over to Venus for a few days but according to his biography he was lost on Venus. I don't know where he is buried but his books live on including some westerns by his indian friends.
What's a meta for?
Metaphors, Analogies, et al.
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.....
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated came as a rude shock, like the roaming charges that appear on your cell phone bill when you make a long distance call from Mexico.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
13. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
14. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
15. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
16. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
17. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
18. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
19. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
21. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
22. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
23. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard chimes ringing, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
21 Facts About The Internet You Should Know!
You probably use it every day but how well do you know your Interne
1. Who coined the phrase 'World Wide Web'?
Tim Berners-Lee in 1990.
2. How did the Internet Start and Why?
It all started with the time-sharing of IBM computers in the early 60's at universities such as Dartmouth and Berkeley in the States. People would share the same computer for their computing tasks. The Internet also got help from Sputnik! After this Russian Satellite was launched in 1957; President Eisenhower formed ARPA to advance computer networking and communication.
3. Who was J.C.R. Licklider?
Licklider is often referred to as the father of the Internet because his ideas of interactive computing and a "Galactic Network" were the seeds for the Internet. His ideas would be developed thru DARPA,(Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) in 1962. Later he would help form ARPANET and the Internet was on it's way.
4. What was ARPANET?
ARPANET stands for 'Advanced Research Projects Agency Network' Came about in the arena of Sputnik and the cold war. The military
needed a method of communicating and sharing all the information on computers for research and development. It would also be a handy
communication system if all traditional ways were wiped out in a nuclear attack!
5. What was the First long distance Connection?
In 1965 using a low speed dial-up telephone line, MIT researcher Lawrence G. Roberts working with Thomas Merrill, connected the TX-2 computer in Massachusetts to the Q-32 in California. The phone lines weren't quite up to the task!
6. Who was Leonard Kleinrock?
Kleinrock came up with the theory of packet switching, the basic form of Internet connections. With a group of UCLA graduate students on Oct. 29, 1969, Kleinrock connected with the Stanford Research Institute but as they typed in the G in LOGIN -- the system crashed!
7.What is an Ethernet?
It's a protocol for by many local networks, (LAN Local-area Networks) the origins of which came from Bob Metcalfe's Harvard's dissertation
on "Packet Networks".
8. When was the first mouse introduced?
The first computer mouse was introduced in 1968 by Douglas Engelbart at the Fall Joint Computer Expo in San Francisco.
9. Did Al Gore really invent the Internet? No, but give credit where credit is due. He did the most of any elected official to actively promote the Internet. However, he wasn't even in Congress when ARPANET was formed in 1969 or even when the term 'Internet' came into use in 1974. Gore was first elected in 1976.
10. Who coined the phrase 'information super highway'?
Wikipedia says Nam June Paik coined the phrase "information superhighway" in 1974. Al Gore popularized the phrase in the early 1990's.
11. Which decade really saw the explosion of the net?
The 90's! The Internet exploded in or around 1993.
12. How fast is the Internet growing?
Very fast! It took 38 years for radio to reach 50 million users, 13 years for TV, and only 5 years for the Internet. Source: CyberAtlas.com
13. Number of Internet Users and Breakdown.
The Internet is roughly 35% English, 65% Non-English with the Chinese at 14%. Yet only 13% of world's population, 812 million are Internet users as of Dec. '04. North America has the highest continental concentration with 70% of the people using the Internet.
14. Country with the highest percentage of net users?
Sweden at 75%.
15. How big is the Internet's surfing world?
Google's index now stands at 8 billion pages.
16. What was the Net's first index called?
Archie, other than library catalogs, this was the first index created in 1989 by Peter Deutsch at McGill in Montreal. Although it spouted such others as Veronica and Jughead, Archie was short for Archiver and had nothing to do with the comic strip.
Backrub was the original name for Google! Larry Page and Sergey Brin used this term for their search engine in 1996, Google as we
know it debuted in 1998. The name Google is a twist on the word Googol, a number represented as 1 followed by 100 zeros.
17. Who coined the phrase 'The Web might be better than sex'?
Bob Metcalfe in 1995.
18. What does HTTP stand for?
HyperText Transfer Protocol -- it's the protocol for moving files across the net; it requires two client programs. The HTTP client and the server.
19. What is an ISP?
Internet Service Provider -- This is the service or company you use to access the Internet.
20. What is HTML?
Hypertext Markup Language -- it's the coded format language for transmitting and creating hypertext web pages.
21. What are your average surfing habits according to Nielsen NetRatings?
Each month you usually visit 59 domains, view 1,050 pages allocating 45 seconds for each page and spend about 25 hours doing all this net activity! Each surfing session lasts 51 minutes.
One last thought - Henry Edward Hardy in his Master's Thesis (1993) on The History of the Net stated "The Net is Immortal". Ever wonder what
this baby will be like in a 100 years? a 1000 years? Just something to think about as you keep your eye on that cursor.
WEB TRIVIA ZINE ARCHIVE
Hillman Eclectic Studio
All Original Work ©2014 by Bill Hillman and/or Contributing Authors/Owners
No part of this web site may be reproduced without permission from the respective owners.