Volume 27
A Fun Site created by
Professor William Hillman culled from a daily motivational series
compiled for his BU Education Classes 2000-2009
The daily tech news items have been omitted since many of the stories are now "old news."

An eclectic collection of oddities, humorous anecdotes, weird photos, funny headlines, cartoons, puzzles, inspirational items, jokes, and more. . .  gathered here as a reference repository for speakers, lecturers, teachers, students, writers, or Web travellers just looking for diversion and a bit of levity. 
Things To Try At Wal-Mart When You Are Bored! 
How To Stay Young
Martha Stewart Tips for Rednecks
Human Resource Lingo 
The Wisdom of Will Rogers
15 Pieces of Advice
Top 100 US Screen Romances
The Top 100 Heroes & Villains
Comedy's Top 100 Films

Things To Try At Wal-Mart When You Are Bored! 

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
And last, but not least...
22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
Thanks, Amar
How To Stay Young
By George Carlin
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.  Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."  And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.  The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.  Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Martha Stewart Tips for Rednecks
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.


1. When decanting wine from the box, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands.


1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.


1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of good money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday," If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.


1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.


1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cumberbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.


1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Human Resource Lingo 

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

We have no time to train you.

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

We have no quality control.

Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

The Wisdom of Will Rogers

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman ... neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
(a.) The ones that learn by reading.
(b.) The few who learn by observation.
(c.) The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. AND FINALLY ... After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him ...
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Top 100 US Screen Romances

The classic black-and-white love story Casablanca has topped a poll for the American Film Institute of the top 100 US screen romances.
           Top 10
            1. Casablanca, 1942
            2. Gone With the Wind, 1939
            3. West Side Story, 1961
            4. Roman Holiday, 1953
            5. An Affair to Remember, 1957
            6. The Way We Were, 1973
            7. Doctor Zhivago, 1965
            8. It's a Wonderful Life, 1946
            9. Love Story, 1970
            10. City Lights, 1931

            Numbers 11 to 20
            11. Annie Hall, 1977
            12. My Fair Lady, 1964
            13. Out of Africa, 1985
            14. The African Queen, 1951
            15. Wuthering Heights, 1939
            16. Singin' in the Rain, 1952
            17. Moonstruck, 1987
            18. Vertigo, 1958
            19. Ghost, 1990

            Numbers 21 to 30
            20. From Here to Eternity, 1953
            21. Pretty Woman, 1990
            22. On Golden Pond, 1981
            23. Now, Voyager, 1942
            24. King Kong, 1933
            25. When Harry Met Sally..., 1989
            26. The Lady Eve, 1941
            27. The Sound of Music, 1965
            28. The Shop Around the Corner, 1940
            29. An Officer and a Gentleman, 1982
            30. Swing Time, 1936

            Numbers 31 to 40
            31. The King and I, 1956
            32. Dark Victory, 1939
            33. Camille, 1937
            34. Beauty and the Beast, 1991
            35. Gigi, 1958
            36. Random Harvest, 1942
            37. Titanic, 1997
            38. It Happened One Night, 1934
            39. An American in Paris, 1951
            40. Ninotchka, 1939

            Numbers 41 to 50
            41. Funny Girl, 1968
            42. Anna Karenina, 1935
            43. A Star Is Born, 1954
            44. The Philadelphia Story, 1940
            45. Sleepless in Seattle, 1993
            46. To Catch a Thief, 1955
            47. Splendor in the Grass, 1961
            48. Last Tango in Paris, 1972
            49. The Postman Always Rings Twice, 1946
            50. Shakespeare in Love, 1998

           Numbers 51 to 60
            51. Bringing Up Baby, 1938
            52. The Graduate, 1967
            53. A Place in the Sun, 1951
            54. Sabrina, 1954
            55. Reds, 1981
            56. The English Patient, 1996
            57. Two for the Road, 1967
            58. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, 1967
            59. Picnic, 1955
            60. To Have and Have Not, 1944

            Numbers 61 to 70
            61. Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1961
            62. The Apartment, 1960
            63. Sunrise, 1927
            64. Marty, 1955
            65. Bonnie and Clyde, 1967
            66. Manhattan, 1979
            67. A Streetcar Named Desire, 1951
            68. What's Up, Doc?, 1972
            69. Harold and Maude, 1971
            70. Sense and Sensibility, 1995

            Numbers 71 to 80
            71. Way Down East, 1920
            72. Roxanne, 1987
            73. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, 1947
            74. Woman of the Year, 1942
            75. The American President, 1995
            76. The Quiet Man, 1952
            77. The Awful Truth, 1937
            78. Coming Home, 1978
            79. Jezebel, 1939
            80. The Sheik, 1921

            Numbers 81 to 90
            81. The Goodbye Girl, 1977
            82. Witness, 1985
            83. Morocco, 1930
            84. Double Indemnity, 1944
            85. Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing, 1955
            86. Notorious, 1946
            87. The Unbearable Lightness of  Being, 1988
            88. The Princess Bride, 1987
            89. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, 1966
            90. The Bridges of Madison County, 1995

            Numbers 91 to 100
            91. Working Girl, 1988
            92. Porgy and Bess, 1959
            93. Dirty Dancing, 1987
            94. Body Heat, 1981
            95. Lady and the Tramp, 1955
            96. Barefoot in the Park, 1967
            97. Grease, 1978
            98. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1939
            99. Pillow Talk, 1959
            100. Jerry Maguire, 1996

AFI LIST: The Top 100 Heroes & Villains

   1. Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck), To Kill a Mockingbird.
   2. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), Raiders of the Lost Ark.
   3. James Bond (Sean Connery), Dr. No.
   4. Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), Casablanca.
   5. Will Kane (Gary Cooper), High Noon.
   6. Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster), The Silence of the Lambs.
   7. Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), Rocky.
   8. Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Aliens.
   9. George Bailey (James Stewart), ItUs a Wonderful Life.
   10. T.E. Lawrence (Peter OUToole), Lawrence of Arabia.
   11. Jefferson Smith (James Stewart), Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.
   12. Tom Joad (Henry Fonda), The Grapes of Wrath.
   13. Oskar Schindler (Liam Neeson), SchindlerUs List.
   14. Han Solo (Harrison Ford), Star Wars.
   15. Norma Rae Webster (Sally Field), Norma Rae.
   16. Shane (Alan Ladd), Shane.
   17. Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood), Dirty Harry.
   18. Robin Hood (Errol Flynn), The Adventures of Robin Hood.
   19. Virgil Tibbs (Sidney Poitier), In the Heat of the Night.
   20. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, (Paul Newman and Robert Redford), Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
   21. Mahatma Gandhi (Ben Kingsley), Gandhi.
   22. Spartacus (Kirk Douglas), Spartacus.
   23. Terry Malloy (Marlon Brando), On the Waterfront.
   24. Thelma Dickinson and Louise Sawyer (Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon), Thelma and Louise.
   25. Lou Gehrig (Gary Cooper), The Pride of the Yankees.
   26. Superman (Christopher Reeve), Superman.
   27. Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein (Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman), All the President's Men.
   28. Juror No. 8 (Henry Fonda), 12 Angry Men.
   29. Gen. George Patton (George C. Scott), Patton.
   30. Luke Jackson (Paul Newman), Cool Hand Luke.
   31. Erin Brockovich (Julia Roberts), Erin Brockovich.
   32. Philip Marlowe (Humphrey Bogart), The Big Sleep.
   33. Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand), Fargo.
   34. Tarzan (Johnny Weissmuller), Tarzan the Ape Man.
   35. Alvin York (Gary Cooper), Sergeant York.
   36. Rooster Cogburn (John Wayne), True Grit.
   37. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness), Star Wars.
   38. The Tramp (Charles Chaplin), City Lights.
   39. Lassie (Pal the dog), Lassie Come Home.
   40. Frank Serpico (Al Pacino), Serpico.
   41. Arthur Chipping (Robert Donat), Goodbye, Mr. Chips.
   42. Father Edward Flanagan (Spencer Tracy), Boys Town.
   43. Moses (Charlton Heston), The Ten Commandments.
   44. Jimmy Popeye Doyle (Gene Hackman), The French Connection.
   45. Zorro (Tyrone Power), The Mark of Zorro.
   46. Batman (Michael Keaton), Batman.
   47. Karen Silkwood (Meryl Streep), Silkwood.
   48. The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
   49. Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks), Philadelphia.
   50. Maximus (Russell Crowe), Gladiator.
   1. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins), The Silence of the Lambs.
   2. Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), Psycho.
   3. Darth Vader (David Prowse, voiced by James Earl Jones), The Empire Strikes Back.
   4. The Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton), The Wizard of Oz.
   5. Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher), One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
   6. Mr. Potter (Lionel Barrymore), It's a Wonderful Life.
   7. Alex Forrest (Glenn Close), Fatal Attraction.
   8. Phyllis Dietrichson (Barbara Stanwyck), Double Indemnity.
   9. Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair), The Exorcist.
   10. The Queen (voiced by Lucille LaVerne), Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
   11. Michael Corleone (Al Pacino), The Godfather Part II.
   12. Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell), A Clockwork Orange.
   13. HAL 9000 (voiced by Douglas Rain), 2001: A Space Odyssey.
   14. The Alien (Bolaji Badejo), Alien. 15. Amon Goeth (Ralph Fiennes), Schindler's List.
   16. Noah Cross (John Huston), Chinatown.
   17. Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates), Misery.
   18. The Shark, Jaws.
   19. Captain Bligh (Charles Laughton), Mutiny on the Bounty.
   20. Man, Bambi.
   21. Mrs. John Iselin (Angela Lansbury), The Manchurian Candidate.
   22. The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger), The Terminator.
   23. Eve Harrington (Anne Baxter), All About Eve.
   24. Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas), Wall Street.
   25. Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson), The Shining.
   26. Cody Jarrett (James Cagney), White Heat.
   27. The Martians, War of the Worlds.
   28. Max Cady (Robert Mitchum), Cape Fear.
   29. Rev. Harry Powell (Robert Mitchum), The Night of the Hunter.
   30. Travis Bickle (Robert De Niro), Taxi Driver.
   31. Mrs. Danvers (Judith Anderson), Rebecca.
   32. Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker (Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway), Bonnie and Clyde.
   33. Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi), Dracula.
   34. Dr. Szell (Laurence Olivier), Marathon Man.
   35. J.J. Hunsecker (Burt Lancaster), Sweet Smell of Success.
   36. Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper), Blue Velvet.
   37. Harry Lime (Orson Welles), The Third Man.
   38. Rico Bandello (Edward G. Robinson), Little Caesar.
   39. Cruella De Vil (voiced by Betty Lou Gerson), One Hundred and One Dalmatians.
   40. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), A Nightmare on Elm Street.
   41. Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway), Mommie Dearest.
   42. Tom Powers (James Cagney), The Public Enemy.
   43. Regina Giddens (Bette Davis), The Little Foxes.
   44. Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis), What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
   45. The Joker (Jack Nicholson), Batman.
   46. Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), Die Hard.
   47. Tony Camonte (Paul Muni), Scarface.
   48. Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey), The Usual Suspects.
   49. Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe), Goldfinger.
   50. Alonzo Harris (Denzel Washington), Training Day.

Comedy's Top 100 Films

The top 100 "funniest films ever made" - according to a survey of more than 1,500 film experts by the American Film Institute.
           1. Some Like It Hot, 1959
           2. Tootsie, 1982
           3. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To 
                Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb, 1964
           4. Annie Hall, 1977
           5. Duck Soup, 1933
           6. Blazing Saddles, 1974
           7. M*A*S*H, 1970
           8. It Happened One Night, 1934
           9. The Graduate, 1967
           10. Airplane!, 1980
           11. The Producers, 1968
           12. A Night At The Opera, 1935
           13. Young Frankenstein, 1974
           14. Bringing Up Baby, 1938
           15. The Philadelphia Story, 1940
           16. Singin' In The Rain, 1952
           17. The Odd Couple, 1968
           18. The General, 1927
           19. His Girl Friday, 1940
           20. The Apartment, 1960
           21. A Fish Called Wanda, 1988
           22. Adam's Rib, 1949
           23. When Harry Met Sally , 1989
           24. Born Yesterday, 1950
           25. The Gold Rush, 1925
           26. Being There, 1979
           27. There's Something About Mary, 1998
           28. Ghostbusters, 1984
           29. This Is Spinal Tap, 1984
           30. Arsenic And Old Lace, 1944
           31. Raising Arizona, 1987
           32. The Thin Man, 1934
           33. Modern Times, 1936
           34. Groundhog Day, 1993
           35. Harvey, 1950
           36. National Lampoon's Animal House, 1978
           37. The Great Dictator, 1940
           38. City Lights, 1931
           39. Sullivan's Travels, 1941
           40. It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, 1963
           41. Moonstruck, 1987
           42. Big, 1988
           43. American Graffiti, 1973
           44. My Man Godfrey, 1936
           45. Harold And Maude, 1972
           46. Manhattan, 1979
           47. Shampoo, 1975
           48. A Shot In The Dark, 1964
           49. To Be Or Not To Be, 1942
           50. Cat Ballou, 1965
           51. The Seven Year Itch, 1955
           52. Ninotchka, 1939
           53. Arthur, 1981
           54. The Miracle Of Morgan's Creek, 1944
           55. The Lady Eve, 1941
           56. Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein, 1948
           57. Diner, 1982
           58. It's A Gift, 1934
           59. A Day At The Races, 1937
           60. Topper, 1937
           61. What's Up, Doc?, 1972
           62. Sherlock Jr, 1924
           63. Beverly Hills Cop, 1984
           64. Broadcast News, 1987
           65. Horse Feathers, 1932
           66. Take The Money And Run, 1969
           67. Mrs Doubtfire, 1993
           68. The Awful Truth, 1937
           69. Bananas, 1971
           70. Mr. Deeds Goes To Town, 1936
           71. Caddyshack, 1980
           72. Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, 1948
           73. Monkey Business, 1931
           74. 9 To 5, 1980
           75. She Done Him Wrong, 1933
           76. Victor/Victoria, 1982
           77. The Palm Beach Story, 1942
           78. Road To Morocco, 1942
           79. The Freshman, 1925
           80. Sleeper, 1973
           81. The Navigator, 1924
           82. Private Benjamin, 1980
           83. Father Of The Bride, 1950
           84. Lost In America, 1985
           85. Dinner At Eight, 1933
           86. City Slickers, 1991
           87. Fast Times At Ridgemont High, 1982
           88. Beetlejuice, 1988
           89. The Jerk, 1979
           90. Woman Of The Year, 1942
           91. The Heartbreak Kid, 1972
           92. Ball Of Fire, 1941
           93. Fargo, 1996
           94. Auntie Mame, 1958
           95. Silver Streak, 1976
           96. Sons Of The Desert, 1933
           97. Bull Durham, 1988
           98. The Court Jester, 1956
           99. The Nutty Professor, 1963
           100. Good Morning, Vietnam, 1987


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